If you could have one super power, what would it be, and why?We'll post our answers to this question and the next three at the end of May!
27 April 2011
Question of the Week: Super Powers
14 September 2010
Hi
Hi, love,
It's been some time since either of us have posted here, and I credit that as being my fault. I never finished answering questions...
But on that note, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and think of you often, and hope that you are faring well with all the changes happening.
I just wanted to pose another simple question:
If you had to think of one colour that would symbolize your persona and thoughts, what would it be, and why?
Me... I think Teal. Because 1. It's my favourite colour.
But I think it's also because it's a blend of a very powerful hue (yellow) but with a very liquid, wistful, introspective heaviness to it (blue). It's a soothing colour, one that immediately imbues the wearer or decor with a sense of relief and rest and solace. But it's also an energizing colour when paired with a hot shade (yellows, golds, reds, corals, oranges). It's a very thoughtful, determined colour, that denotes a lot of in depth thought and introspection, which could also show that the person is thoughtful. But then again, it's also got deep hues of deep blue, which could also show sadness. The blues also denote a type of power, because blue blood... but it's down to earth and slightly hopeful because of the bright green and yellow undertones. It's a very complex colour while on the surface being simple. A paradox, if you will.
<3
Mae
It's been some time since either of us have posted here, and I credit that as being my fault. I never finished answering questions...
But on that note, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and think of you often, and hope that you are faring well with all the changes happening.
I just wanted to pose another simple question:
If you had to think of one colour that would symbolize your persona and thoughts, what would it be, and why?
Me... I think Teal. Because 1. It's my favourite colour.
But I think it's also because it's a blend of a very powerful hue (yellow) but with a very liquid, wistful, introspective heaviness to it (blue). It's a soothing colour, one that immediately imbues the wearer or decor with a sense of relief and rest and solace. But it's also an energizing colour when paired with a hot shade (yellows, golds, reds, corals, oranges). It's a very thoughtful, determined colour, that denotes a lot of in depth thought and introspection, which could also show that the person is thoughtful. But then again, it's also got deep hues of deep blue, which could also show sadness. The blues also denote a type of power, because blue blood... but it's down to earth and slightly hopeful because of the bright green and yellow undertones. It's a very complex colour while on the surface being simple. A paradox, if you will.
<3
Mae
03 June 2010
MaeMae >> Angle: RE: "Do You Remember Your First Kiss?"
I'm answering this pretty separately since I talk too much and everything I'm writing about ends up turning into an essay.
Here goes:
My first kiss...was not necessarily so beautiful it bared remembrance. I felt like I was a late bloomer when I was a kid. Everyone was kissing in like 5th and 6th grade, so I lied to all my best friends when I was in sixth grade that I had kissed a boy I had a total crush on. I made it this salacious, torrid affair, when in truth, I was scared of kissing boys because I knew I was awkward, skinny, and unstylish, and terribly unpopular in my elementary school.
This guy was totally awesome by my childhood reckoning. Definitely cream of the crop. I mean, he wore baggy Dickies brand pants, baggy tattered sweatshirts, Puma shoes (before they got super mainstream), he could break dance. Ahhh, he was so hip-hop, so gangsta. This guy was popular and white. Even back then, my twelve year old self quivered in the nether regions--or at least I thought I did--whenever I thought about him looking my way.
He knew I existed; we were in the same class. He was nice enough to me, but he didn't, say, go out of his way to strike up conversations with me or anything. Or look my way, or act all chivalrous or anything. In fact, unless we were all talking in a lively conversation in class, he pretty much treated me like a text book. It's there, it's got all this knowledge, but you don't engage with it unless you really have to. It's furniture. It's just... there.
Oh man, I totally wanted him.
Anyway, so I lied that I kissed him to my best friend two and a half years younger who supposedly had already kissed someone, even though bitch was only ten. And that lie sustained my social development and standing until my first real kiss when I was fifteen or sixteen.
The kiss was uglier than an awkward TV kiss they dramatize on TV. The bumbling, fumbling, misplaced, slobbery meeting of two fifteen-sixteen year old lips that can't find the proper fit or figure out the right amount of tongue to probe the depths of the other's mouth. It was horrific in retrospect. At the time, it was wet but exhilarating. But it was less of a first "kiss" than a total slobber-fest make out session on a couch with elbow-in-the-face, knee-to-the-thigh, misplaced-hands grinding on my couch. I could feel buzzing in my stomach, buzzing in my hoo-ha, buzzing in my ears, buzzing in my head, tingling on my lips (after I wiped them down with the back of my hand).
I think most of what thrilled me wasn't the fact that I was a horny teenager and there was a really cute guy writhing on top of me, wrinkling the cornflower blue sofa cover out of it's meticulously tucked place. If my mum knew what was going on and why the couch was so perturbed when she saw it when she came home, she would've kicked me out of the house (they are very religious/conservative/repressive parents--basically very Christian and very Asian), or at least grounded me until I went off to college. Anyway! I think what was the most loin-exciting thing, besides the pure physicality of what was going on in my living room, was that I didn't have to live a lie anymore about being a kissing virgin. I mean, who has their first kiss in 11th grade? What kind of loser doesn't get kissed before upperclassman-ship? I was social poison, if my lie were to surface. I mean, I wasn't a total dork in High School, and I didn't have volcanic eruptive acne on my face, but I could be socially lost if anyone discovered that I wasn't truly first-kissed in elementary school like I'd claimed.
Of course I know now that nobody would've given a flying fuck whether I'd been kissed in sixth grade or not. I mean, my best friend a full two years behind me in school probably would've given a shit that I'd lied to her, but that's probably about it.
Kids are so dumb sometimes.
I don't remember his name, come to think of it. I do remember he and I were avid pals on AOL IM and in San Diego based Asian chat rooms, and he wore goggles around his neck in his avatar, but other than that, his name totally escapes me. Henry? Dan? He was Vietnamese with a totally traditional "white boy" name. He drove a riced out Honda Civic.
And I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think he and I ended up being friends too much longer after our adventures in teen hormones in my family room that one Saturday night.
We both thought that making an appointment to make out via AOL instant message was romantic and mature. Hello, totally grown up. So digital. So Twenty-first Century. I told all my friend who were going ice skating that night that I was sick, and he planned to come over, then we'd go to Taco Bell, pick up some burritos and hit up Blockbuster for the latest action flick, go back home to my house and "hang out."
Let me tell you, burrito breath makes for pretty sexy make out sessions. I kid you. We barely ate, because I was too nervous. I sat there picking lint off that cornflower blue sofa cover while explosions erupted and blasted from the entertainment system. He sat there picking at his burrito, issuing an occasional muffled laugh at the movie. I don't remember which movie it was.
Somehow, by the middle of the movie, he had migrated from his end of the couch to mine, and started playing with my ears. Then everything in between that and me nibbling his ear, and him straddling me, agressively necking me pretty much is a blur. We teleported from stage 1 to stage 12 as far as first kisses go. Did it last fifteen minutes? Did it last the rest of the movie? Did we ever finish eating those burritos and then torture each other with awkward conversation and burrito breath?
Oh boy, I can't remember. The rest of the night and the movie were totally memory-makers...Obviously as memorable as the boy's name. The stuff dreams are made of.
What I do remember, however, is that my second kiss also happened that night: a short, sweet kiss goodbye we shared before he drove off into the orange street-light illuminated night.
Here goes:
My first kiss...was not necessarily so beautiful it bared remembrance. I felt like I was a late bloomer when I was a kid. Everyone was kissing in like 5th and 6th grade, so I lied to all my best friends when I was in sixth grade that I had kissed a boy I had a total crush on. I made it this salacious, torrid affair, when in truth, I was scared of kissing boys because I knew I was awkward, skinny, and unstylish, and terribly unpopular in my elementary school.
This guy was totally awesome by my childhood reckoning. Definitely cream of the crop. I mean, he wore baggy Dickies brand pants, baggy tattered sweatshirts, Puma shoes (before they got super mainstream), he could break dance. Ahhh, he was so hip-hop, so gangsta. This guy was popular and white. Even back then, my twelve year old self quivered in the nether regions--or at least I thought I did--whenever I thought about him looking my way.
He knew I existed; we were in the same class. He was nice enough to me, but he didn't, say, go out of his way to strike up conversations with me or anything. Or look my way, or act all chivalrous or anything. In fact, unless we were all talking in a lively conversation in class, he pretty much treated me like a text book. It's there, it's got all this knowledge, but you don't engage with it unless you really have to. It's furniture. It's just... there.
Oh man, I totally wanted him.
Anyway, so I lied that I kissed him to my best friend two and a half years younger who supposedly had already kissed someone, even though bitch was only ten. And that lie sustained my social development and standing until my first real kiss when I was fifteen or sixteen.
The kiss was uglier than an awkward TV kiss they dramatize on TV. The bumbling, fumbling, misplaced, slobbery meeting of two fifteen-sixteen year old lips that can't find the proper fit or figure out the right amount of tongue to probe the depths of the other's mouth. It was horrific in retrospect. At the time, it was wet but exhilarating. But it was less of a first "kiss" than a total slobber-fest make out session on a couch with elbow-in-the-face, knee-to-the-thigh, misplaced-hands grinding on my couch. I could feel buzzing in my stomach, buzzing in my hoo-ha, buzzing in my ears, buzzing in my head, tingling on my lips (after I wiped them down with the back of my hand).
I think most of what thrilled me wasn't the fact that I was a horny teenager and there was a really cute guy writhing on top of me, wrinkling the cornflower blue sofa cover out of it's meticulously tucked place. If my mum knew what was going on and why the couch was so perturbed when she saw it when she came home, she would've kicked me out of the house (they are very religious/conservative/repressive parents--basically very Christian and very Asian), or at least grounded me until I went off to college. Anyway! I think what was the most loin-exciting thing, besides the pure physicality of what was going on in my living room, was that I didn't have to live a lie anymore about being a kissing virgin. I mean, who has their first kiss in 11th grade? What kind of loser doesn't get kissed before upperclassman-ship? I was social poison, if my lie were to surface. I mean, I wasn't a total dork in High School, and I didn't have volcanic eruptive acne on my face, but I could be socially lost if anyone discovered that I wasn't truly first-kissed in elementary school like I'd claimed.
Of course I know now that nobody would've given a flying fuck whether I'd been kissed in sixth grade or not. I mean, my best friend a full two years behind me in school probably would've given a shit that I'd lied to her, but that's probably about it.
Kids are so dumb sometimes.
I don't remember his name, come to think of it. I do remember he and I were avid pals on AOL IM and in San Diego based Asian chat rooms, and he wore goggles around his neck in his avatar, but other than that, his name totally escapes me. Henry? Dan? He was Vietnamese with a totally traditional "white boy" name. He drove a riced out Honda Civic.
And I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think he and I ended up being friends too much longer after our adventures in teen hormones in my family room that one Saturday night.
We both thought that making an appointment to make out via AOL instant message was romantic and mature. Hello, totally grown up. So digital. So Twenty-first Century. I told all my friend who were going ice skating that night that I was sick, and he planned to come over, then we'd go to Taco Bell, pick up some burritos and hit up Blockbuster for the latest action flick, go back home to my house and "hang out."
Let me tell you, burrito breath makes for pretty sexy make out sessions. I kid you. We barely ate, because I was too nervous. I sat there picking lint off that cornflower blue sofa cover while explosions erupted and blasted from the entertainment system. He sat there picking at his burrito, issuing an occasional muffled laugh at the movie. I don't remember which movie it was.
Somehow, by the middle of the movie, he had migrated from his end of the couch to mine, and started playing with my ears. Then everything in between that and me nibbling his ear, and him straddling me, agressively necking me pretty much is a blur. We teleported from stage 1 to stage 12 as far as first kisses go. Did it last fifteen minutes? Did it last the rest of the movie? Did we ever finish eating those burritos and then torture each other with awkward conversation and burrito breath?
Oh boy, I can't remember. The rest of the night and the movie were totally memory-makers...Obviously as memorable as the boy's name. The stuff dreams are made of.
What I do remember, however, is that my second kiss also happened that night: a short, sweet kiss goodbye we shared before he drove off into the orange street-light illuminated night.
03 May 2010
aaah!! YOUR TURN!
So... of course you need to answer the questions you asked me which are:
and then I should ask two big quesions....
OK! GO!!!
- Do you remember your first kiss? what do you remember about it?
- What's the most unusual thing you snack on?
- If you could change places with anyone, who would it be?
- What is your favourite videogame, and why?
and then I should ask two big quesions....
- What would your ideal life look like?
- What steps do you think you need to make in order to get there?
OK! GO!!!
22 April 2010
Angle -> Mae...
Phew... I almost want to skip the first questions and bolt right over to the serious ones.
1. My first kiss. HeCK YES I remember!! My first "real" kiss was in the 6th grade (I'm sure I had some kind of kiss when I was a lot younger... but nothing that leaves a mark). For some reason the most popular boy in school had asked me to "go steady" - it didn't make any sense to me at the time. Sure, I hung out with the popular crowd (by default really, I was never truly accepted) but previous to me he had been dating the most beautiful and popular girl in school. I wasn't about to turn him down so of course I accepted to be his girlfriend. On our first day as boyfriend and girlfriend we went to the park after school. I lived in a small town, the park was a popular place for teenaged groping and central to where everyone lived. We went behind a tree and ... he went in for a kiss. I can tell you now that what I felt was total TERROR!! I had never kissed anyone let alone had a boyfriend. Plus there was so much pressure to be "good" at kissing considering my partner was the cutest and most popular boy our age in town. Not only did he want to kiss but he wanted to FRENCH!! I had been informed that Lance (his name) had dated an "older girl" the summer before and she taught him how to kiss "right". Oh goodness... the horror of it all. I did my best ... but didn't enjoy even a single moment of it because I was so nervous. Like most romances at that age I think we went steady for maybe two weeks? Then had a very dramatic public break-up.
2. Unusual snacks?? Hmmm... I sometimes think I eat like a bachelor. If I'm hungry I'll just grab something out of the fridge, slap it together and call it a meal. Last night I pulled out a jar of pickles and went to town while cooking my actual dinner. The day before that I microwaved a corn tortilla with a slice of cheese and then rolled it up and snacked while doing things around the house. I don't think these things are unusual ... more like lazy!
3. Wow... change places. I have worked really hard to get to a place where I don't think about things like this. I grew up in a very rough environment. My parents were divorced and often neither of them was around for different reasons. I grew up spending a lot of time by myself which lead me to be pretty socially awkward growing up. Add all that to the fact that growing up I was also made fun of quite a bit by boys for being "ugly" or my favorite a "dog". This probably seems to contradict my earlier story about dating a popular boy in the 6th grade... but like I said... EVEN I wasn't sure back then what that was really about. I've always suffered from a pretty good case of low self-esteem as well... which meant that all my life I wanted to be someone else!! In the past couple of years (with the help of therapy) I have been working on liking and hopefully loving myself as I am. If I'm being honest with you here I will admit that I have a lot of fantasies about switching places with someone rich. I don't have a specific person in mind. But for as long as I can remember I have been poor. I've worked very hard to get to a place where I can comfortably support myself but I know I will never be exceptionally wealthy.
4. Favorite video game!! Ok. Well, I LOVE to watch video games but I can't seem to play them myself. I don't have the reflexes! My favorite game to watch last year was BioShock! So scary and fun!! I pretty like anything that is horror related with pretty graphics. I'm NOT a fan of war type games. There is no story there and often I get really bored and wonder off to nap or read. I was excited to see that BioShock2 is out... but since my boyfriend is in school he doesn't have time to play ANY games. Poo...
Oh-kay... now the big ones!!
First serious question:
Are you happy?
Am I happy?
That one kinda smacked me in the face... mostly because I've been thinking about it a lot. By nature I tend to be someone that can only see where I'm failing vs. where I'm succeeding. For all of my late-teens to mid to late twenties I was so scared of failing in terms of my career. Mostly I was afraid I would never have one.
I didn't grow up with much of a scholastic drive. I was more concerned with growing up so I could get away from my family life. School and education felt like something I HAD to do ... but I wasn't good at it. I tried college twice and both times decided I was better off working full time vs. working part time and going to school part time (which felt like a never ending road to nowhere). Back then I would think about my future and it just looked like a black hole... I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. That lack of knowing or how to get there scared the hell out of me! I didn't want to end up being a waitress for my whole life like my mom. So... I did things one day at a time... one step at a time. Sort of like feeling around in the dark for clues... and letting the fear drive me forward. Because I didn't do well in school I knew I would have to work my way up from the bottom no matter where I went. I think this sort of mentality is what helped me in my 20's and what can eventually hurt others in the same position. I've met a lot of kids that think they're too good to start small and work their way up.
Now that I have a job that I love and am proud of I feel my attention turned toward what the next step in my future is. I'm taking a good hard look at what is lacking in my life. What I saw was that I wanted to settle down and start a family of my own. Before I could do that I asked myself what things I needed to change in order to put my best foot forward on the next leg of my journey.
Even though we both have our faults and have A LOT of personal work to do, I really really feel an emptiness in terms of the lack of moving forward towards marriage and family. I want to work on these things with my boyfriend and set goals for our future together.... or.... we have to move on from this relationship.
So... phew. Am I happy? The answer is ... sometimes? That's a total cop-out. I WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!
Acutally, Mae... your asking me this question really really made me think. I haven't answered this blog yest because I've been working myself up for... what's next and MAKING MY OWN happiness!! Believe it or not I told my boyfriend that we need to sit down and talk about our future together (if there is one). Really fucking scary. Could be that this conversation ends the relationship OR it finally puts my mind at ease knowing that WE ARE moving forward. If it doesn't work out ... well then.... I know.
Mae - I know you're frustrated with your work situation. All I can say is "this too shall pass"! You and your husband are working hard to reach your goal of moving to Hawaii... yes... it sucks right now. But you will MAKE IT HAPPEN! I honestly hope that you guys won't let his family keep you in a city where neither of you are happy. You're right... it's so selfish! The only thing I've learned in this life is that you really have to TAKE RISKS to move forward sometimes.
Second serious question:
Do you ever get annoyed by people who criticise your clothing?
I had to tell my co-worker the story about your shoes!! That's too much!!!
Yes!! I do get annoyed when people try to give me advice or critique my outfit. I can't think of the last time anyone said something rude TO MY FACE!! There was one time where a critique woke me up from an outfit slump. My co-worker made a comment something like, "Angel is wearing her signature outfit! Vintage top, jeans, boots." - He was RIGHT!!! I hated him for saying it, but it did force me to shake it up.
Phew... now I have to clear my head and post some questions for you!!
xoxxooxoxangel
- Do you remember your first kiss? what do you remember about it?
- What's the most unusual thing you snack on?
- If you could change places with anyone, who would it be?
- What is your favourite videogame, and why?
1. My first kiss. HeCK YES I remember!! My first "real" kiss was in the 6th grade (I'm sure I had some kind of kiss when I was a lot younger... but nothing that leaves a mark). For some reason the most popular boy in school had asked me to "go steady" - it didn't make any sense to me at the time. Sure, I hung out with the popular crowd (by default really, I was never truly accepted) but previous to me he had been dating the most beautiful and popular girl in school. I wasn't about to turn him down so of course I accepted to be his girlfriend. On our first day as boyfriend and girlfriend we went to the park after school. I lived in a small town, the park was a popular place for teenaged groping and central to where everyone lived. We went behind a tree and ... he went in for a kiss. I can tell you now that what I felt was total TERROR!! I had never kissed anyone let alone had a boyfriend. Plus there was so much pressure to be "good" at kissing considering my partner was the cutest and most popular boy our age in town. Not only did he want to kiss but he wanted to FRENCH!! I had been informed that Lance (his name) had dated an "older girl" the summer before and she taught him how to kiss "right". Oh goodness... the horror of it all. I did my best ... but didn't enjoy even a single moment of it because I was so nervous. Like most romances at that age I think we went steady for maybe two weeks? Then had a very dramatic public break-up.
2. Unusual snacks?? Hmmm... I sometimes think I eat like a bachelor. If I'm hungry I'll just grab something out of the fridge, slap it together and call it a meal. Last night I pulled out a jar of pickles and went to town while cooking my actual dinner. The day before that I microwaved a corn tortilla with a slice of cheese and then rolled it up and snacked while doing things around the house. I don't think these things are unusual ... more like lazy!
3. Wow... change places. I have worked really hard to get to a place where I don't think about things like this. I grew up in a very rough environment. My parents were divorced and often neither of them was around for different reasons. I grew up spending a lot of time by myself which lead me to be pretty socially awkward growing up. Add all that to the fact that growing up I was also made fun of quite a bit by boys for being "ugly" or my favorite a "dog". This probably seems to contradict my earlier story about dating a popular boy in the 6th grade... but like I said... EVEN I wasn't sure back then what that was really about. I've always suffered from a pretty good case of low self-esteem as well... which meant that all my life I wanted to be someone else!! In the past couple of years (with the help of therapy) I have been working on liking and hopefully loving myself as I am. If I'm being honest with you here I will admit that I have a lot of fantasies about switching places with someone rich. I don't have a specific person in mind. But for as long as I can remember I have been poor. I've worked very hard to get to a place where I can comfortably support myself but I know I will never be exceptionally wealthy.
4. Favorite video game!! Ok. Well, I LOVE to watch video games but I can't seem to play them myself. I don't have the reflexes! My favorite game to watch last year was BioShock! So scary and fun!! I pretty like anything that is horror related with pretty graphics. I'm NOT a fan of war type games. There is no story there and often I get really bored and wonder off to nap or read. I was excited to see that BioShock2 is out... but since my boyfriend is in school he doesn't have time to play ANY games. Poo...
Oh-kay... now the big ones!!
First serious question:
Are you happy?
Am I happy?
That one kinda smacked me in the face... mostly because I've been thinking about it a lot. By nature I tend to be someone that can only see where I'm failing vs. where I'm succeeding. For all of my late-teens to mid to late twenties I was so scared of failing in terms of my career. Mostly I was afraid I would never have one.
I didn't grow up with much of a scholastic drive. I was more concerned with growing up so I could get away from my family life. School and education felt like something I HAD to do ... but I wasn't good at it. I tried college twice and both times decided I was better off working full time vs. working part time and going to school part time (which felt like a never ending road to nowhere). Back then I would think about my future and it just looked like a black hole... I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. That lack of knowing or how to get there scared the hell out of me! I didn't want to end up being a waitress for my whole life like my mom. So... I did things one day at a time... one step at a time. Sort of like feeling around in the dark for clues... and letting the fear drive me forward. Because I didn't do well in school I knew I would have to work my way up from the bottom no matter where I went. I think this sort of mentality is what helped me in my 20's and what can eventually hurt others in the same position. I've met a lot of kids that think they're too good to start small and work their way up.
Now that I have a job that I love and am proud of I feel my attention turned toward what the next step in my future is. I'm taking a good hard look at what is lacking in my life. What I saw was that I wanted to settle down and start a family of my own. Before I could do that I asked myself what things I needed to change in order to put my best foot forward on the next leg of my journey.
- Fix my credit - I ruined my credit with some help from my family. In my youth I didn't get how important a good credit score really is!!! So scary!!
- Get in shape, build physical strength - I've never been fit... EVER!! I'm ermm.... low energy? Ok, fine.... I'm LAZY!!!
- Built emotional and mental strength - I struggle with codependency and depression... good times.
- SAVE MONEY!!! - save save save!! have a rainy day fund NOT STUFF!!! This has been hard for me.
Even though we both have our faults and have A LOT of personal work to do, I really really feel an emptiness in terms of the lack of moving forward towards marriage and family. I want to work on these things with my boyfriend and set goals for our future together.... or.... we have to move on from this relationship.
So... phew. Am I happy? The answer is ... sometimes? That's a total cop-out. I WANT TO BE HAPPY!!!
Acutally, Mae... your asking me this question really really made me think. I haven't answered this blog yest because I've been working myself up for... what's next and MAKING MY OWN happiness!! Believe it or not I told my boyfriend that we need to sit down and talk about our future together (if there is one). Really fucking scary. Could be that this conversation ends the relationship OR it finally puts my mind at ease knowing that WE ARE moving forward. If it doesn't work out ... well then.... I know.
In the wise words of GI Joe ... "knowing is half the battle."
Mae - I know you're frustrated with your work situation. All I can say is "this too shall pass"! You and your husband are working hard to reach your goal of moving to Hawaii... yes... it sucks right now. But you will MAKE IT HAPPEN! I honestly hope that you guys won't let his family keep you in a city where neither of you are happy. You're right... it's so selfish! The only thing I've learned in this life is that you really have to TAKE RISKS to move forward sometimes.
Second serious question:
Do you ever get annoyed by people who criticise your clothing?
I had to tell my co-worker the story about your shoes!! That's too much!!!
Yes!! I do get annoyed when people try to give me advice or critique my outfit. I can't think of the last time anyone said something rude TO MY FACE!! There was one time where a critique woke me up from an outfit slump. My co-worker made a comment something like, "Angel is wearing her signature outfit! Vintage top, jeans, boots." - He was RIGHT!!! I hated him for saying it, but it did force me to shake it up.
Phew... now I have to clear my head and post some questions for you!!
xoxxooxoxangel
16 April 2010
MaeMae -> Angle
I'm having a super bad day. All I can think of is going home. So I only have one question for you, and you can be as honest or as vague as you want. Because honestly, I ask this question of myself, and I feel like I could go on and on about it.
But let's get the casual ones out of the way:
Serious side:
Are you happy?
The reason I ask is because, well, I feel like there is so much wrong with me right now, which is weird, because my entire life outside of my job is great. But when I'm here, I'm immensely unhappy. It's like this stupid place I am for 9 hours of my day manages to skew and make the rest of my life feel so awry, so wrought with pain and wrongness. I hate it here, A, I really do. I hate everything about this place. I feel like it sucks my soul.
And I'm stuck in the state with the worst unemployment rate, so I'm not likely to find a job in an industry I want that pays well enough for me to stay afloat. Ironically, the measly wages I'm earning seem to be considered pretty good for Michigan, which makes me even more miserable about this god-forsaken, but beautiful state.
I mean, I like it here enough, but sometimes there are just so many things about living here (not the place, or the people or the FOOD) that make me want to get up and leave. I feel trapped. And naturally, I project onto my surroundings. But the job and education market here are fucking awful, and what woman in her right mind would believe that those lack of positive markets for shaping young minds would be a good environment to bring a family up in, even if her in-laws are here?
That's another thing, I've been away from my family and best friends for five years, and I hardly ever see them in a year. If I'm lucky, I get to see my best friend maybe once or twice every two years? It's hardly fair. And every time I see my parents I miss them more and more. I understand parents being jealous parents, like God/Universe is a "jealous God", and they want their children and potential grand children to be around them all the time, but that's hardly fair, and completely selfish, which then guilts my husband and I. How is that fair? You want to tell us not to move away and limit our goals and dreams because you want us around you all the time? And what about my parents? Sure, they're used to me being away, but the older and older I get, the more I want to be around them, and lately my heart has been hurting for my best friends and my family.
So you're going to tell us not to move to NY where there is a great opportunity because it's "too far away"? Ugh. We eventually came to the conclusion that moving to NY wasn't as great an opportunity anyway, and we stayed here in MI, but still, your first instinct is to tell us not to leave primarily not because it wasn't a wise decision, but because the distance was to great? The job was only a second issue? It made me mad. I can understand it--we're your kids, but still, it's hardly a selfless kind of loving instinct.
I love my in-law family. They love us so much they want us to be around them all the time. But that's not always the best for us. And I wish they will learn that sooner than later. We would like to move to Honolulu by our two year anniversary next year (August). I mean, their parents left their respective homes: N's grandmother is from England, his grandfather is from Canada, and they both left those homes to make a new life in the New World. Think about what wouldn't have happened had they not left their childhood homes? N wouldn't have been born. And N's other grandmother migrated here from the Philippines. N's father wouldn't have been born here and met N's mum.
None of this family would have happened, and I'd probably be still some some politically, ecologically, emotionally, socially apathetic Southern California twat, because That Man didn't come puncture my little bubble and wake me up from my mental fog. I may still be that geographically limited person, never having set foot farther east of Las Vegas, farther west of LA and such. I would never have gone to Europe because I had the most romantic man to help make a trip like that happen for me, or even inspire me to go there. I never would've been to Hawaii without the help of my parents, which means, when I traveled there, it would've been with my family, which would have dramatically affected how much I loved the place. (Traveling in the same vehicle and staying in the same lodging as they drives me absolutely mad--in more ways than one!) I wouldn't have been as motivated to finish college as I did (9 years!), or start paying my bills. I wouldn't have learned to care for another living creature (my dog), because I had no idea that dogs could have souls, and I wouldn't have learned it if I didn't see the example N set for treating and communicating with dogs...
This is all moot to philosophize, but I guess I was just trying to get a point across.
I'm ranting.
Second serious question:
Do you ever get annoyed by people who criticise your clothing?
I waved and smiled at someone today who was walking toward me, and I asked her, "How are you doing?"
And then she looked me up and down, and then said, full of bile, "Those are ridiculous shoes! How do you walk in those things!", and continued walking away.
"They're not ridiculous. They're awesome." And I walked away confidently.
I am wearing my Dolce Vita Aprils.
First of all, my shoes are fucking brilliant, and you're ugly. Which, of course, I didn't say. But it's like, what room do you have to be all fucking spiteful at me when I said a cheerful hello at you, and asked you how are you, and then you criticise my shoes when you look like you flew here on a broom from a Moroccan garage sale where you got all your crappy clothes and forgot to buy a hair brush. That's just not right.
Even if you're going through something, the rules of social interaction stipulate that you return a courtesy greeting if you're not super good friends. The normal verbal volleyball of "Hello, how are you", "Fine, thanks, and you?". That is social convention. I didn't ask you how your day is going and then invite you to cry on my shoulder. Because I like to keep my shoulder clean.
But if I'm going to be nice, the least you can fucking do is fake being nice back.
Now I'm not going to be nice anymore. I've had a bad day, and if you're a bitch, I won't hold back.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just had to get that out.
But let's get the casual ones out of the way:
- Do you remember your first kiss? what do you remember about it?
- What's the most unusual thing you snack on?
- If you could change places with anyone, who would it be?
- What is your favourite videogame, and why?
Serious side:
Are you happy?
The reason I ask is because, well, I feel like there is so much wrong with me right now, which is weird, because my entire life outside of my job is great. But when I'm here, I'm immensely unhappy. It's like this stupid place I am for 9 hours of my day manages to skew and make the rest of my life feel so awry, so wrought with pain and wrongness. I hate it here, A, I really do. I hate everything about this place. I feel like it sucks my soul.
And I'm stuck in the state with the worst unemployment rate, so I'm not likely to find a job in an industry I want that pays well enough for me to stay afloat. Ironically, the measly wages I'm earning seem to be considered pretty good for Michigan, which makes me even more miserable about this god-forsaken, but beautiful state.
I mean, I like it here enough, but sometimes there are just so many things about living here (not the place, or the people or the FOOD) that make me want to get up and leave. I feel trapped. And naturally, I project onto my surroundings. But the job and education market here are fucking awful, and what woman in her right mind would believe that those lack of positive markets for shaping young minds would be a good environment to bring a family up in, even if her in-laws are here?
That's another thing, I've been away from my family and best friends for five years, and I hardly ever see them in a year. If I'm lucky, I get to see my best friend maybe once or twice every two years? It's hardly fair. And every time I see my parents I miss them more and more. I understand parents being jealous parents, like God/Universe is a "jealous God", and they want their children and potential grand children to be around them all the time, but that's hardly fair, and completely selfish, which then guilts my husband and I. How is that fair? You want to tell us not to move away and limit our goals and dreams because you want us around you all the time? And what about my parents? Sure, they're used to me being away, but the older and older I get, the more I want to be around them, and lately my heart has been hurting for my best friends and my family.
So you're going to tell us not to move to NY where there is a great opportunity because it's "too far away"? Ugh. We eventually came to the conclusion that moving to NY wasn't as great an opportunity anyway, and we stayed here in MI, but still, your first instinct is to tell us not to leave primarily not because it wasn't a wise decision, but because the distance was to great? The job was only a second issue? It made me mad. I can understand it--we're your kids, but still, it's hardly a selfless kind of loving instinct.
I love my in-law family. They love us so much they want us to be around them all the time. But that's not always the best for us. And I wish they will learn that sooner than later. We would like to move to Honolulu by our two year anniversary next year (August). I mean, their parents left their respective homes: N's grandmother is from England, his grandfather is from Canada, and they both left those homes to make a new life in the New World. Think about what wouldn't have happened had they not left their childhood homes? N wouldn't have been born. And N's other grandmother migrated here from the Philippines. N's father wouldn't have been born here and met N's mum.
None of this family would have happened, and I'd probably be still some some politically, ecologically, emotionally, socially apathetic Southern California twat, because That Man didn't come puncture my little bubble and wake me up from my mental fog. I may still be that geographically limited person, never having set foot farther east of Las Vegas, farther west of LA and such. I would never have gone to Europe because I had the most romantic man to help make a trip like that happen for me, or even inspire me to go there. I never would've been to Hawaii without the help of my parents, which means, when I traveled there, it would've been with my family, which would have dramatically affected how much I loved the place. (Traveling in the same vehicle and staying in the same lodging as they drives me absolutely mad--in more ways than one!) I wouldn't have been as motivated to finish college as I did (9 years!), or start paying my bills. I wouldn't have learned to care for another living creature (my dog), because I had no idea that dogs could have souls, and I wouldn't have learned it if I didn't see the example N set for treating and communicating with dogs...
This is all moot to philosophize, but I guess I was just trying to get a point across.
I'm ranting.
Second serious question:
Do you ever get annoyed by people who criticise your clothing?
I waved and smiled at someone today who was walking toward me, and I asked her, "How are you doing?"
And then she looked me up and down, and then said, full of bile, "Those are ridiculous shoes! How do you walk in those things!", and continued walking away.
"They're not ridiculous. They're awesome." And I walked away confidently.
I am wearing my Dolce Vita Aprils.
First of all, my shoes are fucking brilliant, and you're ugly. Which, of course, I didn't say. But it's like, what room do you have to be all fucking spiteful at me when I said a cheerful hello at you, and asked you how are you, and then you criticise my shoes when you look like you flew here on a broom from a Moroccan garage sale where you got all your crappy clothes and forgot to buy a hair brush. That's just not right.
Even if you're going through something, the rules of social interaction stipulate that you return a courtesy greeting if you're not super good friends. The normal verbal volleyball of "Hello, how are you", "Fine, thanks, and you?". That is social convention. I didn't ask you how your day is going and then invite you to cry on my shoulder. Because I like to keep my shoulder clean.
But if I'm going to be nice, the least you can fucking do is fake being nice back.
Now I'm not going to be nice anymore. I've had a bad day, and if you're a bitch, I won't hold back.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just had to get that out.
12 April 2010
Mae -> Angle
Mae asks Angle:
1. Hmmm.... ok. Well, I first started blogging back in the day of Live Journal. I went there to talk about anything and everything I was thinking. It was an online diary that was open to whatever stranger found her (or on the rare occasion his) way in. Live Journal was usually anonymous and in my case it was 99% done in secrecy. Only one or two real life friends (girls I trusted) knew where I wrote. For me it was cathartic to write all my innermost feelings and just put it out there into the big black void that is the internet. And if I was lucky a kind stranger would leave some comments of support or suggestions. I really loved having that place to turn to. One day I logged onto LJ and my blog had been wiped out. Apparently this happened to a lot of people in the community. I was sent an email informing me that IT was working to recover the lost blogs... but for whatever reason I was over it. I took it as a sign to move on.
Flash forward to maybe a couple of years ago? I discovered my first "fashion blog" or as I like to call it MY FALL FROM PRODUCTIVITY! It was all down hill from there. One blog leads you to look at another and soon I had a whole laundry list of girls I was reading every morning with my cup of coffee. One day I was reading a blog about a new online fashion community that was still in a Beta testing phase called "Chictopia" - for fun I requested to become a member and next thing I knew I was posting outfits! At first it was super stressful! The pressure!! To wear an outfit that all these girls will approve of!! For a long time none of my outfits were receiving any kind of applause until I hit a point and thought, "why do I care what a bunch of strangers think? just wear what you like..." - once that happened I noticed that people were responding more to what I was wearing. Which of course was GREAT! Who doesn't like attention? It was at that point that I decided that maybe I was too old for Chictopia. I asked myself "what do I want to accomplish here?" by blogging outfits (which is pretty silly when I think about it). Ultimately I wanted to use it as a tool to evolve my personal style. I wanted a place where I could document daily and then look back over time and evaluate.. or judge or whatever how I was dressing and see where I could improve, what worked, what didn't work... blah blah. I'm feeling a new level of frustration with my blog... and I think with "style" in general.
2. My favorite thing to do (on a sunny day) is to get a coffee and walk around Haight St or Union Sq. Clearly I LOVE clothes and being able to pop in and out of shops while people watching is my absolute favorite thing. On a rainy day I love to get under some blankets, pig out on Thai food and ice-cream, and watch movies aaaallllll day loooooong. Bonus points of my boyfriend will hold still long enough to cuddle with me.
3. Favorite guilty pleasure... dressing up just to prance around the house!! Maybe eat ice-cream in a party dress, or put on fancy heels to do the dishes. Why not?
4. ZOMBIES!!! BWAIIINNNSSS!!! I used to spend long periods of time talking with one of my best friends about what we would do should the undead start to take over. Haha!! Soooo, basically I would find a way to block off the stairs on both sides of my house. Luckily we live on the second floor. If something should have happened to my upstairs neighbor I would secure that location as well. Fill all the sinks, tubs, & large buckets and mixing bowls with WATER! Luckily I love across the street from a large grocery store AND a corner store. After securing the house we'd have to make weapons (lots of tools in the garage). Next run to the corner store and secure as much food as possible! The corner store is closer than the grocery store... safer bet. We could travel by roof top (best to avoid the streets).
5. My favorite meal to make is Black Beans & Tempeh!! One of my best friends taught me how to make it. It's Vegan and SUPER healthy... on top of that it's super tasty!!! Recipe can be found HERE!!
Your turn!!!
- What first attracted you to the blogging world? Why did you start blogging?
- If you had a day to yourself and you could do anything at all w/o feeling guilty or like you were shirking responsibilities what would you do?
- Favorite guilty pleasure?
- Zombies are taking over the world! What do you do?
- Favorite meal to cook? Can you share the recipe?
1. Hmmm.... ok. Well, I first started blogging back in the day of Live Journal. I went there to talk about anything and everything I was thinking. It was an online diary that was open to whatever stranger found her (or on the rare occasion his) way in. Live Journal was usually anonymous and in my case it was 99% done in secrecy. Only one or two real life friends (girls I trusted) knew where I wrote. For me it was cathartic to write all my innermost feelings and just put it out there into the big black void that is the internet. And if I was lucky a kind stranger would leave some comments of support or suggestions. I really loved having that place to turn to. One day I logged onto LJ and my blog had been wiped out. Apparently this happened to a lot of people in the community. I was sent an email informing me that IT was working to recover the lost blogs... but for whatever reason I was over it. I took it as a sign to move on.
Flash forward to maybe a couple of years ago? I discovered my first "fashion blog" or as I like to call it MY FALL FROM PRODUCTIVITY! It was all down hill from there. One blog leads you to look at another and soon I had a whole laundry list of girls I was reading every morning with my cup of coffee. One day I was reading a blog about a new online fashion community that was still in a Beta testing phase called "Chictopia" - for fun I requested to become a member and next thing I knew I was posting outfits! At first it was super stressful! The pressure!! To wear an outfit that all these girls will approve of!! For a long time none of my outfits were receiving any kind of applause until I hit a point and thought, "why do I care what a bunch of strangers think? just wear what you like..." - once that happened I noticed that people were responding more to what I was wearing. Which of course was GREAT! Who doesn't like attention? It was at that point that I decided that maybe I was too old for Chictopia. I asked myself "what do I want to accomplish here?" by blogging outfits (which is pretty silly when I think about it). Ultimately I wanted to use it as a tool to evolve my personal style. I wanted a place where I could document daily and then look back over time and evaluate.. or judge or whatever how I was dressing and see where I could improve, what worked, what didn't work... blah blah. I'm feeling a new level of frustration with my blog... and I think with "style" in general.
2. My favorite thing to do (on a sunny day) is to get a coffee and walk around Haight St or Union Sq. Clearly I LOVE clothes and being able to pop in and out of shops while people watching is my absolute favorite thing. On a rainy day I love to get under some blankets, pig out on Thai food and ice-cream, and watch movies aaaallllll day loooooong. Bonus points of my boyfriend will hold still long enough to cuddle with me.
3. Favorite guilty pleasure... dressing up just to prance around the house!! Maybe eat ice-cream in a party dress, or put on fancy heels to do the dishes. Why not?
4. ZOMBIES!!! BWAIIINNNSSS!!! I used to spend long periods of time talking with one of my best friends about what we would do should the undead start to take over. Haha!! Soooo, basically I would find a way to block off the stairs on both sides of my house. Luckily we live on the second floor. If something should have happened to my upstairs neighbor I would secure that location as well. Fill all the sinks, tubs, & large buckets and mixing bowls with WATER! Luckily I love across the street from a large grocery store AND a corner store. After securing the house we'd have to make weapons (lots of tools in the garage). Next run to the corner store and secure as much food as possible! The corner store is closer than the grocery store... safer bet. We could travel by roof top (best to avoid the streets).
5. My favorite meal to make is Black Beans & Tempeh!! One of my best friends taught me how to make it. It's Vegan and SUPER healthy... on top of that it's super tasty!!! Recipe can be found HERE!!
Your turn!!!
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